Going Fishing?

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!""Look! We're going fishing and that's final.""Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!""Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!" The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!""Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!""Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!""Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."

Now Vodaphone are deserting them as shirt sponsors who next?  

Frightening

It was very worrying to read that the Bush administration is only offering aid to HIV sufferers in developing countries if they promote abstinance as opposed to the use of condoms. This is religious extremism gone mad. Now it has become clear that his government is trying to block the free access to the 'morning after' pill in the USA on grounds of morality!

Does George and his gang think they are on some sort of religious crusade? As the richest nation on earth this could put any threat posed by Muslim extremists pale into insignificance. We seriously need a Democrat president next time round or the USA could really become a theorocracy.

Americans should remember that George Washington was an aetheist. He refused to attend church any more after being criticised by the priest for leaving before the communion every week!

Need

I regard the things I need as food, water, shelter and warmth with the car and the TV being almost essential items in the modern world. I don't need beer and cigarettes but I enjoy them nonetheless.

Apparently I am wrong though. On a trip to the town centre with my wife today it became clear that we really need a scented candle garden for the dining room table and some cushions and throw to make the bed look prettier when we're not in it, all at a frightening cost. How come I've been geting it wrong all these years?

Bonfire night in Paris

It seems that the French have been getting into the spirit of things over the last few nights. French cities are on fire for 12 nights running thanks to a lot of unhappy people venting their spleen.

Our friends across the channel have always gloated that the British have been too soft on immigration. Maybe now they'll understand that trying to include ethnic minorities in the running of society and giving them a real say isn't such a bad thing. We could still try harder with some of the more orthodox Muslim communities that remain painfully isolated from the mainstream. I don't think they really want Christmas lights abandoned or the banning of piggie banks being issued by banks to children that some of the politically correct idiots have been suggesting. I think they just want to be listened to.

Mind you, the government is skating on thin ice with its propose 'Britishness' test for those seeking naturalisation. When the questions were put to random indigenous people in the street very few of them knew the answers so it does look like a bit of a scam!