From the NSS weekly newsletter

Editorial by Terry Sanderson
CHRISTIANS TRY TO FORCE US TO OBSERVE THEIR RELIGION
Let’s be honest, very few people in this country celebrate Christmas as a religious festival anymore. It is much-vaunted that 72% of people in this country say they are Christians, but only something like 15% will show their face in a church over the Christmas season. And most of them are only doing it because “it’s a nice thing to do”.

This week, I have been running from one radio studio to another, from one TV station to the next, commenting on various bits of propaganda that have absolutely no basis in reality. Take the supposed survey of companies that “revealed” that 74% of them intended to “ban” Christmas decorations from their premises. The survey was allegedly conducted among more than 2,300 firms, but regrettably in all my contact with various parts of the country through their local radio stations, no-one was able to find even one of those companies. There was no indication from anybody that they intended to “ban” anything to do with Christmas (except perhaps the drunken orgy otherwise known as the office party).

Peter Done, the managing director of Peninsula, the firm that produced these highly contentious figures commented: “Christmas trees and decorations may well be a thing of the past in many workplaces this Christmas as political correctness culture has spread to the workplace. Although employers who are enforcing the ban are sceptical and dismayed by this trend, they feel that they have little choice in the matter due to the threat of litigation; as they have to protect themselves, their reputation and their livelihood.”

He went on to suggest that much of the alleged reticence of commercial firms to put up decorations was a fear of offending “religious minorities”. So, it turns out that it’s the poor old Muslims and Hindus are to blame again.

The Hindu Council was forced to issue a rather pleading don’t-blame-us statement, reading: “Hindu Council UK is concerned that a report claims that 3 out of 4 employers have banned Christmas decorations from their offices for fear of offending other faiths. Hindu Council UK would like to stress that they have no objection whatsoever if employers were to put up Christmas decorations. We live in a Christian country and respect Christian faith and traditions as we respect other faiths and traditions. Hindu Council UK would be disappointed if some employers were to use faith as an excuse not to decorate their offices for Christmas.”

The fear from these minority communities is almost palpable. One of my radio stints was an hour long programme on the BBC Asian Network which included a phone in. Everybody from a Muslim background who rang in said quite clearly that they had no problem with Christmas -- they liked it, in fact, and would join in all the celebrations except the religious bit.

Rather like the vast majority of the supposed 72% of ‘Christians’, then.

Peninsula’s survey was quoted quite uncritically by the media, because it fits with their agenda. The fact that it is unsupported with evidence and completely out of step with everyone’s lived experience was disregarded by most newspapers and broadcasters who presented it as gospel. Did anybody think to ask Peninsula for some evidence to back up its claims? Of course they didn’t -- what a lot of spoilsports we’d be to do that.

So now the spotlight is turned on “the fundamentalist secularists” who, according to the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, are the real villains of this piece. Sentamu yesterday put out a ludicrously overblown and opportunistic statement hysterically pointing the finger at “illiberal atheists”.

“There is a worrying trend to be seen where illiberal atheists have combined with aggressive secularists to create a ludicrous situation where those who don’t believe in God have decided that a Christian festival is offending other faiths. Aggressive secularists are trying to pretend that it is possible to enter into the true meaning of Christmas by leaving out Jesus Christ. The person who is at the heart of the celebration is totally excluded. This really is a case of throwing out the baby with the bathwater, or in this case throwing out the crib at Christmas. Aggressive secularists are behaving like the inn keeper on the first Christmas Eve and saying there is no room at the inn -- no room for Christ at Christmas! It is like having a birthday party, the guests turning up and giving each other presents, forgetting why they came and totally excluding the birthday child. Have you ever known such self-adulation and hypocrisy?”

“This aggressive brand of secularism is trying to undermine the cultural traditions of this country by using flawed arguments about “multi-faith, multi-culturalism” whilst at the same time trying to negate faith groups all together.

Is the man fully in control of his faculties? Who are these “aggressive secularists” who want to rob Christians of Christmas? Come on, Johnny, name names. And don’t trot out Richard Dawkins, because he has never said any such thing. Nor has anyone at the National Secular Society. We’re all for people celebrating the season -- usurped, as it was by the Christians from its pagan origins -- in whatever way they want, whether that’s in the church or the shopping mall, in the Cathedral or in front of the telly pigging out on selection boxes.

The Christian push to incite resentment against non-Christians is dishonest and dangerous. I was in conversation with the Bishop of Lichfield on Radio Northern Ireland when he made one ridiculous claim after another. First he said that 50% of the population would be in church at Christmas. In fact it is much more likely -- according to Christian Research -- to be 5% at the Church of England and little more than 15% for all denominations put together. A few glamorous cathedrals might be overflowing, but the parish churches will be struggling, as usual, to fill their pews.

After explaining that he had just come back from a procession through the centre of Stafford after which he blessed a nativity scene in the town centre (all paid for by the taxpayer), he then had the cheek to berate other (unnamed) councils which he claimed were putting up “secular decorations” which were a “mish-mash”. He urged Christians to be more upfront about their religion, and presumably ram it down everyone else’s unwilling throats along with the mince pies.

Perhaps this was all best summarised in an article in the Daily Mirror by Brian Reade, who wrote:
“The real affront to Christ is the tiny group of agitators running grotesquely aggressive campaigns to turn Christmas into an annual whingefest for all who worship the religion of “PC Gone Mad”. Fanatics who see anti-patriotic conspiracies in everything which doesn't conform to their mythical world view. Bigots who believe if an immigrant doesn’t know the date of the Magna Carta, he’s a sponger, unworthy of working and living here... They know we’ve always had a mid-winter festival since Pagan days and that a Pope invented Christ’s birthday as December 25 out of convenience. That Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, scientologists and atheists also like a joyous escape from the shortest days of the year. They know that’s why America has always called it Happy Holidays. It makes it more inclusive. Makes you think of others at this giving time. Where’s the offence here?”

I'm A Celebrity - Myleene Klass Showering

The star of the Australian Jungle in this years 'I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here'

CARS TO BLAME FOR EVIL GENERALLY

There was shock this week as it emerged that cars are to blame for all the evil in the world. The shock verdict came from a top secret government report to be published later this month and entitled, "The Economy Could Be A Bit Fucked - Finding Ways To Make More Cash… And Fast".
"Cars really are the root of all the planet's woes," admitted government spokesman Lambglot Slightly. "For one thing, they cause global warming which is the biggest threat to face this country at the moment and certainly a bigger threat than, say, starting an inexplicable war and then being puzzled when fanatical Muslims keep plotting to blow up London. Of course, it's not just global warming. The car also causes cancer, paedophilia, rape, pestilence, scurvy and never being able to find the bloody kitchen scissors when you need them. Thankfully, this government has discovered that all these problems can be made to go away by taxation. Lots of lovely soft target taxation. Mmm".

Whilst central government continues to work on new plans to banish the evil of cars with the sword of tax, one local authority is already taking the initiative to prevent cars from causing more misery and mobility in the world. The council of Grunting, in Pain, has already approved plans for a new scheme in which residents' parking permit charges will be levied in direct proportion to the stylishness of your clothes and how well spoken your children are. "This is entirely fair scheme," said spokesman Partly Smnnr. "We believe it will encourage people to think twice before having a reasonable amount of money which we're then going to take off them on some spurious environmental basis that doesn't quite make sense".

However, the government itself was quick to promise that although cars are the root of all income, it will be looking at other measures to save the world. "We're not simply picking on cars of course," Lambglot Slightly admitted. "Domestic heating and airline travel are two areas that we are looking in to as well. I personally have decided that domestic heating is the best way to keep my six bedroom house warm, and to celebrate that discovery I'm now flying to France for a two week skiing holiday. Mmmm".

Meanwhile, Conservative leader Dave "Dave" Cameron was happy to join in the blathering; "I am speaking now," he said. "Listen to me speaking in a nice voice. I think it's clear that I agree with whatever this is about, and I have shown this agreement by not wearing a tie. I like trees. Yea kids. Clouds are nice" A spokesman later admitted that Mr Cameron was himself a major source of pointless CO2.


Extracted from sniffpetrol.com

Can you see Jesus?

I HAVE SEEN THE LORD!

Blair sings "should I stay or should I go"

Errrmmmmmm........GO!!!

Only Ones - Another Girl Another Planet

Good guitar break. Used on Vodaphone adverts recently.

Top Gear

Don't let the 'we've got nothing better to do than to tell everyone how to run their lives' brigade win. Sign the online petition to keep Top Gear on air.

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/tg100/petition.html

Bhor Bandish Project

The rap bits are rubbish but the rest of it is very sexy, especially the babes in the wet red outfits.

Jimmy Jangle

Miserable YouTube blocked the P.I.M.P. video as it actually dared to show bare breasts (shock horror) but this is quite funny.

Motorists - the soft target

The soft target - yahoo message boards

A good item on the board about how the government is fleecing motorists by using the 'save the planet' excuse. This lot have got to go!

Say Cheese

Prostate Concerns

A very funny article by Jeremy Clarkson about the concerns of ageing.

My near-death toilet experience

Rip Offs

It's my birthday, 51 today :o(, and we were considering taking our nephews, who are visiting from Scotland, to Thorpe Park. After reading this report by Rod Liddle I have changed my mind. I think that the fun fair over at the local park is probably a better and cheaper option.

Thorpe Park rip off

Took them to the Bluebell Railway a few days ago and they seemed unimpressed. I enjoyed it though. I was the only one who ended up with black smuts all over my face from leaning out the window to catch a glimpse of the steam locomotive that was towing us sedately through the beautiful Sussex countryside.

Remember to read the small print 

Heatwave Continues

The hot summer shows no sign of abating with temperatures exceeding 36c last week. We had some rain on Saturday afternoon and it felt good walking about in it. It's back to the sweaty sleepless nights again now though. I never thought I'd miss the traditional British crap weather.

Computer

Been thinking for a while that the old PC will soon need replacing. This latest model seems to be just what I am looking for.

We're out

Not that far behind the Aussies, England get knocked out again in a penalty shoot out. We always lose those. Sven should have just gone for broke and launched an all out attack on the Portugese goal for the last ten minutes.

One good thing though is that we did get knocked out in a 'lottery' situation rather than being totally humiliated by the French in the semi final. Don't they look good!

The Tobacco Taliban

Not only are the eco-nazi's making everyones life a misery, the tobacco taliban are at it as well. At last a good article from todays Sunday Times by Rod Liddle. Click on this.

Things get out of hand as the ticket inspector moves along the train!

Too much too young

I seem to remember having a childhood. They are learning far too much too young these days.

Windows XP

Getting dire warnings on my PC from Bill Gates, worried whether I have been sold a dodgy version of windows by mistake. I don't understand. The copy I got in Dhaka for 100 taka (90 pence) seemed genuine enough. Here's the box.

I don't suppose he'll miss my money eh!

Come to Bournemouth

Germans have no idea where Bournemouth is. It's got to be a good selling point. Click this to see for yourself.

Tottenham Chef

The chef who prepared Tottenham Hotspurs pre match meal at the London Hotel has been identified.

The Sultans Elephant

Spent a rare afternoon in central London today watching the street theatre production of 'The Sultans Elephant'. Pretty rare to find something to marvel at these days but this was pretty awe inspiring stuff from the French 'Royal de Luxe' company. The enormous hydraulic powered elephant with its red tail coated crew had to be seen to be believed as it moved through the West End accompanied by a noisy Gallic rock group on a float and using its trunk to spray the onlookers with water. Also the 'Little Girl' who was actually an 8 metre marrionette was worth following as she skipped to creole music and rode a scooter around St James park.

The finale in Horseguards Parade was worth the wait as the little girl was hoisted into her wooden rocket and helped on her way to new time travels by the elephant. After the fiery departure the top was taken off of the rocket to reveal that she had indeed gone.

I took some good moving images but am limited to a couple of stills here. Pity it doesnt show the elephant standing up to reveal its true scale.

Water again

H2O should be made available to everyone. It is as essential as the air we breath. An interesting programme on Channel 4 the other night illustrated the plight of people in developing countries whose access to clean water is being denied by a privatisation policy approved by the World Bank and mostly run by British companies. We should be ashamed of ourselves!

Thatcher (the third worst thing to hit this country after The Black Death and Hitlers Blitz) was the instigator of privatisation and it is still being carried on across the world despite the obvious disasters that have befallen the UK as a direct result. Shareholders profits being more important than investment in industries that, as public services, shouldn't be expected to run in profit anyway.

It is comforting to see that the new socialist indigenous government of Bolivia is encouraging people to connect to the mains water supply without permission from the 'company' and that the Tanzanian government has kicked the British water companys' arse out of the country.

Back in the UK the traditional wet spring weather continues and we still have a hosepipe ban. If it keeps raining who cares?

Too many boys in India

The rather distasteful practise of aborting females in India before they are born and even killing new born girls is coming back to haunt them and a bloody good job as well. Who the hell wants to live in a country full of males? You only need one bull in a field of cows. One cow in a field of bulls is inevitably going to lead to trouble.

The shortage of girls has turned the dowry system on its head and fathers of daughters are suddenly sitting on a gold mine.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/02042006/80-132/lack-women-turns-tables-india-s-suitable-boys.html

Or not getting through the village in the first place! 

More Water

Pure coincidence, but there was an item on TV last night how the Israelies have built a desalination plant that supplies the whole of southern Israel with fresh water. The total cost was the same as two F16 fighters would have been. If they can do it.............!

Water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

Time for a comment. The annual water shortage is here again in the south east of England. Only 70% of average rain apparently over the last two years has resulted in a garden hose ban and the threat of standpipes in the street if the rain doesn't come soon. This really pisses me off. The UK is supposed to be the fourth wealthiest nation on earth but it seems that we still have an early Victorian infrastructure supplying our water.

The north of England and all of Scotland is awash with the stuff. It never stops raining up there and the mountain areas are dotted with nice lakes and rivers full to bursting. We have the technology to pipe oil and gas from as far as Siberia and the Caspian Sea. However, it hasn't been considered that we could pipe nice harmless water the 500km or so from the other end of this country. The water is nice and soft up there as well and we could save a fortune on soap. Airports have their fuel delivered by a network of pipes direct from refineries nationwide after all so it's not impossible.

All we really need is a government prepared to spend a little less on jet fighters or build one less 'stealth' frigate and divert the money into a grid for water like we have for electricity. Privatised water companies seem intent on keeping the shareholders happy rather than investing in the system. Thames Water which supplies most of the London area loses 27% of its water to leaks which is disgusting.

If places like Las Vegas and Dubai, both built in deserts, manage to maintain a good water supply why not a corner of our soggy little island?

Gary Glitters Chinese Takeaway!

Topical and extremely tasteless. Quite funny nonetheless :o)

Tom Baker Says

One of the best sites I've found recently.

Check out www.tombakersays.com

Mustafa Shag!

Oh dear, a sense of humour by-pass hits the Islamic extremists once again. Anne Summers latest inflatable doll with a 7" penis (bound to break the ice at hen parties) has upset them. Check out:-

Mustafa Shag


and Anne Summers

The Clash of Ignorance

This is an interesting article written in the Bangladeshi Daily Star which gives a balanced approach to the recent 'cartoon' and terrorist difficulties from a Muslim perspective.

The Clash of Ignorance

And this weeks health and safety award goes to........ 

Spanish dentist on the job! 

The latest energy saving idea from Australia 

A nice message of peace and tolerance! 

From an American Blog. Just about says what we think about the 'Cartoon' business

As the cartoon nonsense spins out of control, resulting in destruction of property and expressions of religious hatred and intolerance, any blogger worthy of the name must have an opinion.
Our opinion is that people, in the "free world," have and should have the freedom to mock, criticize, and satirize anyone and anything: Christians, Jews, Moslems, Hindus, Indians, atheists, whites, blacks, hispanics, Poles, Norwegians, and every other human category. All are fair game.
We do not particularly enjoy it when such things are done in rude, crude or socially unacceptible ways, but that's just too bad: hypersensitivity is the problem of the hypersensitive and, as they say in AA, "Feelings aren't facts." Besides humor, expressions of anger and hate need to be permitted. When Julian Bond terms all Republicans "Nazis," some folks just laugh, some are upset, and some are deeply disturbed. But freedom means freedom to be a dumb jerk, and to express hate, however loony or untrue. Thankfully, we have the freedom to talk back and to satirize such malignant idiocy.
We've been known to get a little juvenile on these pages, ourselves, with the occasional TR ("therapeutic rant"), etc. I thought that Piss Christ was hideously offensive, and a childish effort to get attention by being "controversial". I find the Moslem newspapers' anti-semitic cartoons equally offensive. Were those Danish cartoons offensive? Only mildly so, if you have a chip on your shoulder and are looking for a fight and have no sense of humor. "Orchestrated tantrums," in the words of Gates of Vienna. But words and pictures are not action. Sticks and stones...
Free speech means we all have to be willing to be offended, rightly or wrongly. The Moslem world clearly does not widely share that ideal, and exists in a different, quasi-medieval culture with entirely different ideals and rules: a theocratic, autocratic culture in which wife-beating is normal practice, in which hanging is an acceptable punishment for gays, beheading the punishment for adultery, and the word of the Prophet, however interpreted, is the Law. Nor do they make the sharp distinction between speech and action that we do, and neither did Jesus.
They are not on the same page that we are on: we left it 400 years ago with The Enlightenment. No-one enjoys having their world-view changed: it entails both a loss, and an unclear future. There are plenty of Americans who, even now, resent the effects of the Enlightenment, regardless of how much we are the beneficiaries of it.
The Moslem Middle-East, it seems to me, is in the position of resisting our Western Enlightenment. All of our ideals - political freedom, democracy, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, hedonism - are felt to be a threat to a long-established world view. What surely makes it feel worse is that these ideas are imports - not home-grown. However, the outside Western influence will prove irresistable in time - just see all of those satellite dishes on the tops of apartment buildings in Tehran. TV, the Internet, and the shrinking world will sooner or later, for better or worse, change the culture of the Middle East. They are experiencing a reaction, similar to our historical Inquisition and Counter-Reformation. But to understand the European Counter-Reformation is not to excuse it. And to understand the cultural threat felt in the Middle East by Western ideas does not to excuse barbaric behavior.
Should we respect other cultures? I see no reason why we should. Respect, like trust, is a precious gift and not a casual commodity. Should we be interested in understanding other cultures? Sure, if we are curious, but just understanding our own is the work of a lifetime or two. Should we tolerate intolerance expressed in destructive action? Of course not. Should we stand for the freedom to say dumb and cruel things? Sure. Should we speak against dumb and cruel statements? Of course. Should we be intimidated? Never. Do we have things worth fighting for? Damn right we do.

Either

Following a little research it transpires that the OED in 2004 (a little newer than my version) decided that the past tense of the verb 'text' would more likely be 'texted' although 'tex'd' may also be acceptable. I think that the latter sounds better.

Texies?!?!

I will admit to being a bit pedantic. However, has anyone else noticed the mispronounciation of the plural of the word 'text' by television and radio presenters recently. Instead of requesting those stupid enough to pay £1.50 a go to send in their texts the word is inevitably pronounced 'texies'. However, when referring to an idiot with more money than sense who has already sent in a text message the presenter will say that he has 'texted'. This word has only recently become a verb with the advent of mobile telephones thus the dictionary is unclear as to whether 'texted' is the correct pronounciation or maybe the word 'text' would also be suitable for use in the past and present tense. Anyone any ideas? Don't bother texting!

Oh Dear - I've resorted to Irish jokes!

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

The future Richard Branson maybe?